Mummy and Thomas to review baby milk

How exciting.

Thomas and I (well technically Thomas) has been asked to review the new SMA pro follow on milk. And we've been given a box of free goodies as part of the process. Watch this space.

Oh and fellow mummy friends. I need your help too. I need to ask you some questions so please get in touch if you're willing to help out.

Why does it feel weird to be off work?

It's the same old story in life. Well at least I think it is anyway. 

We always want what we don't have. Well I guess I do. What about you dear reader?

I'd wanted a baby for so long. All my close friends had one (or even two) even my cousin (who swore blind that she'd never have a baby got pregnant the Christmas before I did) and I wanted it even more. 

Now Thomas is here I still can't quite believe it. In fact I need to pinch myself most of the time to remind myself that Its not a dream. He is mine. We created him and my life has and will never be the same again. What a brilliant and yet scary statement that is. What I've always wanted has finally come into fruition and yet. It feels weird. Surely this can't be this easy? He's here. My job is now to look after him. Do everything for him. Full time. Day in. Day out. Well until I return to work. 

When i was pregnant I couldn't wait for these days. The lie ins (well one can live in hope), the day trips, the baby clubs.. And again now it's here. I'm loving it. 

But..

But.. 

And I can't actually believe I'm writing this. Part of me misses being at work. Yes. There we go I said it. Part of me is missing the routine, the feel and buzz of being in the classroom, of having some normal work related conversation with my colleagues about the latest thing we've been asked to implement by up above.

Part of me feels guilty for taking each day as it comes, for doing as I please, for shopping, socialising and spending time doing what I want and not following a set timetable. I can go to the loo when I want, eat what I want when I want and don't have to endure the daily feeling of never quite being good enough at my job despite the fact that I have lots of very happy parents and students of my own. 

So why am I wanting what others have? God knows. I guess it's human nature. But what I do know is this is a pure example of how today (and I'm hopeful that it's just going to be for today). That I want what the majority of the working population has. To be at work. I'm sure it will pass and that this feeling is just a temporary thing. In the meantime I need to snap out of it and focus on today. Thomas. And making every moment count because I know one thing for sure. This time won't last forever. There will always be time to work, there will never a chance to get this time back again. And that is something I do have. Not everyone can have children. For some women their job is their child. Not for me. I have what I want and I wouldn't change it for the world. 

The importance of treasuring every minute

So here we are. Six months in. And what a whirlwind it has been. 

When I started writing this blog I planned to document every step of my pregnancy and then thought I would do the same after the birth. But no.

 Something happened. 

 Life happened.

 A new life.

 A life myself and the love of my life had created. Thomas was here. 

The baby I'd wanted for years was finally here. I was elated. Overjoyed. And then it became more and more important to treasure every moment with him. In the actual moment rather than blogging and writing about it as it happened. I made the conscious decision to enjoy each day and each moment by living in the lovely moment and then to maybe.. Just maybe.. document all my memories at a later date which is what I'm going to do. 

So dear reader, keep an eye out for my future posts which will cover everything from the labour, pre eclampsia, dehydration, sleepless nights, not so sleepless nights and a lot more besides. 

But in the meantime, for all my fellow mummies out there (who I'm sure I can relate to this), I'm just going to spend today, Saturday the 20th of August 2016. the six month of my first baby boy's life just treasuring it. And him, As we drive down to Essex to see the in laws and maybe (ok it's going to happen) slightly reminisce about the fact that this time six months and a day ago. 

He wasn't here. 

Apologies dear reader

The last seven weeks (yes he's been here for seven weeks already) have been an absolute whirlwind which is why I haven't posted. But I will be back. 

The waiting game

So here I am. Sat on the sofa with a hot water bottle on my back at 41 weeks and one day pregnant. Wow. I never thought I'd make it to this stage let alone with Thomas still inside me but alas here I am. And as my mother in law keeps reminding me - babies have their own timetable! 

It's such a strange feeling knowing that you are so close to meeting the child that you created with the love of your life and yet still so far away. Will it be tonight? I wonder...  Or tomorrow? The honest question is who knows? And the honest answer is nobody. Apart from little fella himself.

Having said all of this though it's not all been calm on the Western front. I genuinely thought I was going into labour on Saturday night when i came out of my lovely relaxing bath to constant shooting pains up my back and what I can only describe as furious kicking by the now not so little fella. 

Being a modern woman I quickly downloaded a contractions app from the App Store and started to time the rather painful contractions. I kept the timer going for 45 minutes and when the "go to hospital now" warning came up on the screen I did feel a slight urge to panic. 

And then it all went quiet.

No we didn't turn the TV off or suddenly turn mute. It all went quiet on the pain and contractions front. It stopped. I felt great again. Had a piece of toast and managed to get a really good nights sleep. Such a strange experience. To go through all of that pain in such a short space of time. To build yourself up for the real thing. And then nothing. I can honestly say I've never experienced anything like it in my entire life. And am scared about it happening again.

So back to today. Or indeed this week. I am keeping busy and trying my best to take my mind off things. Had a lovely lunch out with my mum and Paige and I'm about to do some teaching. Oh yes dear reader. Once a teacher; always a teacher. And just because I'm on maternity leave it doesn't mean that I am going to stop.

I'm going to the hospital on Wednesday morning to be monitored by the fetal assessment team and then to have a membrane sweep (nice) and then if that doesn't bring on labour (eeek). I will be back in on Friday to be induced. 

So as much as you can try to plan and predict and guess and hope and wonder nobody really knows when baby is ready to come out by himself (perhaps he's just a little bit too comfy in there) - but one thing is for sure however it happens (naturally or with a little help from a pessary) - he will be here by the end of the week whether we are ready for him or not. 

And that is both an amazing and very scary thing! 

Eight days to go or is it nine? Ten?

Wow.

This time next week (if it's meant to be) I will be welcoming my first child into the world.

I can't believe that after all the planning. Sickness. Tooth loss and sinusitis that in less than a week (hopefully) I'm going to meet my little man.

Or maybe not. He could be late. Or he could be early. The community midwife told me that if he's ten days overdue then I will be induced so that will mean he will be delivered on the 17th. But if he's early that could mean he could come at anytime: day or night between now and the 7th.

So what is a girl to do? The hospital bag is packed. The cleaning has been done. All I can do now is sit and play the waiting game because no matter how much I will him to come out on his due date it won't make any difference. When he's ready to come out he will come out. He will do his own thing. In his own time. Just like someone else I know... Me! 

In the meantime - place your bets. Will he be early or late? 

What exactly do you pack in your hospital bag?

Make sure you pack your hospital bag by 36 weeks is the advice I was given when I went to a recent Parent Craft class. Ok. Will do. But what exactly do you pack or more importantly how on earth do you manage to get everything you need together? After all no one knows how long you will be in hospital for. Plus the fact if you know me then you'll know I never exactly travel light.

Thankfully I was also provided with a list of suggested items to bring in (see list below) and have so far managed to get quite a bit of these items together. 

However, when it states "clothing for baby" what on earth are you meant to bring then? Ok if it's cold you'd bring something warm to wrap him in and if it's warm you'd bring the opposite but how on earth are you meant to know what size he will be? Or his weight? The last thing I'd want is to be told off my the midwives for dressing him in an outfit that's too small or too big. 

So what do you do? Any mums out there with any advice please feel free to share.

Hit me like a ray of son...

It's amazing what hits you and at what time in your pregnancy.

I'm just walking to the train station to get the train to the hospital for a fetal growth scan when it occurs to me that I won't actually be doing this for much longer. 

No silly. I don't mean I won't ever be getting the train again. Or indeed walking! I mean that in less than a month (or indeed whenever little fella decides to show his face) we will never be parted.

Well I wouldn't say never. Ever. But for quite a long time we will be doing everything together. He will always be with me. Whether it's train journeys.. Toilet trips or even just chilling in the living room one thing is for sure I will never be alone again. And that's a scary and exciting thought -especially for a fiercely independent mum to be. 

To breast feed or to not breast feed that is the question..

One of the things that I've had to come to terms with since being pregnant is the constant advice and suggestions that I'm given.. And the topic of breast feeding is by no means no exception. Said questions include;

Will you be using a manual or electric breast pump? 

Will you give it a go? After all breast is best..

And so on and so on. 

So to help me on my way to making a decision I thought I'd outline the pros and cons of breast vs bottle after reading the two booklets I was given by the health visitor on her recent visit; off to the best start and guide to bottle feeding.

Here goes; 

Breastfeeding pros;

Lowers the risk of mum getting breast or ovarian cancer 

Helps you and baby to get closer - physically and emotionally 

Naturally uses up to 500 extra calories a day - surely this is the biggest selling point 

And the one I like most of all - it's free!

And the cons (for baby): (interesting to note that no cons for mum are mentioned. Now I wonder why that is).

Diarrhoea and vomiting 

Chest infections

Ear infections 

Being fussy about new foods 

Being constipated 

Being obese 

Developing eczema

Wow! Now if the cons aren't enough to encourage me to get my boobs out and to feed Thomas as soon as I can then what is? 

Well - not being able to of course. What if I can't actually express milk? For those of you who don't know what "expressing milk" it's squeezing milk out of your breast.

And how on earth do I make sure that baby is properly attached to my breast? 

Well apparently there's nothing to worry about as there's plenty of help and support out there but. And this is a huge but.. What if I can't actually do it? What if baby can't or won't latch on? What if? What if??

Ah what if I decided to bottle feed? Ah yes now there's another option to consider...

So I flip over to page one of the "guide to bottle feeding" booklet to look for the pros and cons of bottle feeding. Nope. Can't find any. None at all. All this booklet does is help you to understand how to bottle feed your baby safely. 

In all fairness it's very visual - especially the step by step guide to preparing a powdered feed section but as a soon to be first time mum I'd like to know what the benefits are especially as I'm the kind of person who likes to do her research on things like this.

Ah. Wait. Nope. Nothing. 

Interesting to note that a con is mentioned on page 13 - "making up a feed with too much powder can make your baby sick and may cause dehydration."

But still no pros. Just some information on the steps you need to follow should you wish to restart breastfeeding. Re-start? I'm still yet to decide. Arrgghj! What to do?

I know. I will let baby decide. If he wants to and can latch on I will feed him the natural way and if he can't or it's too painful then I will go straight for the bottle.. And after trying to digest all of this information I've been given I'm not just talking about the Tommee Tippee bottles either.