Hit me like a ray of son...

It's amazing what hits you and at what time in your pregnancy.

I'm just walking to the train station to get the train to the hospital for a fetal growth scan when it occurs to me that I won't actually be doing this for much longer. 

No silly. I don't mean I won't ever be getting the train again. Or indeed walking! I mean that in less than a month (or indeed whenever little fella decides to show his face) we will never be parted.

Well I wouldn't say never. Ever. But for quite a long time we will be doing everything together. He will always be with me. Whether it's train journeys.. Toilet trips or even just chilling in the living room one thing is for sure I will never be alone again. And that's a scary and exciting thought -especially for a fiercely independent mum to be. 

To breast feed or to not breast feed that is the question..

One of the things that I've had to come to terms with since being pregnant is the constant advice and suggestions that I'm given.. And the topic of breast feeding is by no means no exception. Said questions include;

Will you be using a manual or electric breast pump? 

Will you give it a go? After all breast is best..

And so on and so on. 

So to help me on my way to making a decision I thought I'd outline the pros and cons of breast vs bottle after reading the two booklets I was given by the health visitor on her recent visit; off to the best start and guide to bottle feeding.

Here goes; 

Breastfeeding pros;

Lowers the risk of mum getting breast or ovarian cancer 

Helps you and baby to get closer - physically and emotionally 

Naturally uses up to 500 extra calories a day - surely this is the biggest selling point 

And the one I like most of all - it's free!

And the cons (for baby): (interesting to note that no cons for mum are mentioned. Now I wonder why that is).

Diarrhoea and vomiting 

Chest infections

Ear infections 

Being fussy about new foods 

Being constipated 

Being obese 

Developing eczema

Wow! Now if the cons aren't enough to encourage me to get my boobs out and to feed Thomas as soon as I can then what is? 

Well - not being able to of course. What if I can't actually express milk? For those of you who don't know what "expressing milk" it's squeezing milk out of your breast.

And how on earth do I make sure that baby is properly attached to my breast? 

Well apparently there's nothing to worry about as there's plenty of help and support out there but. And this is a huge but.. What if I can't actually do it? What if baby can't or won't latch on? What if? What if??

Ah what if I decided to bottle feed? Ah yes now there's another option to consider...

So I flip over to page one of the "guide to bottle feeding" booklet to look for the pros and cons of bottle feeding. Nope. Can't find any. None at all. All this booklet does is help you to understand how to bottle feed your baby safely. 

In all fairness it's very visual - especially the step by step guide to preparing a powdered feed section but as a soon to be first time mum I'd like to know what the benefits are especially as I'm the kind of person who likes to do her research on things like this.

Ah. Wait. Nope. Nothing. 

Interesting to note that a con is mentioned on page 13 - "making up a feed with too much powder can make your baby sick and may cause dehydration."

But still no pros. Just some information on the steps you need to follow should you wish to restart breastfeeding. Re-start? I'm still yet to decide. Arrgghj! What to do?

I know. I will let baby decide. If he wants to and can latch on I will feed him the natural way and if he can't or it's too painful then I will go straight for the bottle.. And after trying to digest all of this information I've been given I'm not just talking about the Tommee Tippee bottles either. 

Let the non alcoholic cider see the glass

I'm not really a big drinker. Well not anymore. Back in my uni days I could consume a bottle of hock in a night. A week night that is - we hardly ever had the time, energy or the money to go out at the weekend but boy did we make up for it during the week. 

Fast forward to twelve months ago when I would go out at least once a month and get pretty trollied. A typical binge drinker is how I used to describe myself. I've never been the kind of person to go out religiously every Friday or Saturday and then be so excited at the prospect of finally going out that I'd drink as much as I could in the one night. Mix my drinks (which has never done me any favours) and then spend the rest of the day in bed recovering. 

Long gone are those days. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped drinking altogether and bar one beer on out all inclusive holiday in August I've stuck to it. And am pretty bloody proud of myself. 

So imagine my delight after a week that's been filed with deadlines, report writing and antibiotics - when I spotted the non alcoholic version of my favourite cider in the local Tesco! I was like a kid in a sweet shop. I could have a drink. I could feel like I wasn't missing out. I could savour the taste of strawberry and lime without feeling guilty!

And the best thing of all? No hangover in the morning. Thank you Koppaberg Brewery. You've made this thirty something pregnant teacher very happy this evening. 

Tummy trouble

So the sonographer was finally able to take a photograph of baby T today and more importantly check his heart beat. 

Although I didn't think that she would be able to after the ultra sound experience today started off exactly the same as the one a couple of weeks ago - with my little cherub lying on his tummy at the start of the experience. 

I arrived at the hospital with an hour to spare and proceeded to head straight to WH Smith to grab a huge bottle of Evian and a bar of chocolate. Why I hear you cry? Well in order to have an ultra sound in the first place you need to have a full bladder and experience has taught me that little Thomas loves chocolate - he has a sweet tooth just like his mum - and according to the sonographer who did my scan last time - the sugar should help him to turn over (if indeed he was lying on his belly). Or not in this case. 

I made my way up in the lift to the second floor - or should I say the purple level two. Scanned my letter in - very high tech. And then ventured over to the water machine to dose myself up on even more cups of water before I went in. 

I didn't have to wait long. I was called in. Asked to lie down and could listen to the heart beat straight away! Wow! I could hear my baby's heart beat through a machine! She then showed me the monitor and sure enough baby was lying on his back with his knees up to his chest.

She's checked his measurements. And did all she could do until even she admitted that she didn't know what to suggest. I then offered to go for a walk. She suggested I pop to the loo to now empty my rather full - yet not quite over flowing bladder - and whilst I'm there have a stretch. "Try to touch your toes.."

And low and behold it worked. Well in true Tilbury style - where nothing is ever easy - he managed to turn just enough so that she could check his heart beat - all normal and to take a picture (or three). 

And here's the result. Phew! Happy and healthy. A lovely experience. I'm just disappointed that that's it now. No more ultra sounds (as i'm a low risk pregnancy) but lots of appointments.

They say a photograph can speak a thousand words...

.... And if that's the case then this one sums me up 100% today.

Not that I'm complaining mind. I love being pregnant. I've waited so long to have my own baby that I'm delighted and grateful that it's finally happened. As there was a time when I thought it wouldn't. 

But I am finding it hard to manage. I have a full time very demanding job. Am bringing up someone else's child and am nearly 22 weeks pregnant. So I guess it's ok to feel like the lady in the picture does every so often. Now I just have to work on realising that not only is my body changing but for the time being I can no longer do the things that I'd love to do on a weekend.

I know it will all be worth it in the end but today is a tough day. 

Project Based Learning? Or learning nothing

On a Wednesday during period two I teach a class a topic called Project Based Learning. I say the word "teach" very loosely as I am mainly there as an extra body in the room (alongside two other teachers) and to check the students literacy - that is whenever they produce a piece of written work I need to check it for spelling, grammar, punctuation and of course that it makes sense.

I say "check their work" in the most loosest of terms as well as so far this term I haven't seen any of it. Maybe it's because they don't know what to do. Maybe it's because they can't be bothered or maybe it's because the brief is so broad that they haven't got a clue where to start. 

But there's where Project Based Learning or PBL as it's commonly known in our school is different. The fact that the brief may be broad or the fact that little work may be produced throughout the course of the process doesn't really matter as the students are meant to learn by making mistakes in Year 10 so that they don't then repeat the same mistakes in Year 11.

What do you think of this way of learning? 

I hate Monday mornings

So it's Monday yet again. Only three weeks until half term (if you don't include this one). 

It still seems so far away though. Far far away as in the fictional world that Shrek and Fiona live in.

But would it make it go faster if i started to do a countdown clock on my phone? After all I have one for my pregnancy so why not have one for half term? 

Answers on a postcard please.